10:35 a.m. I have made 'to do' list!! Here it is:

27/2
1. How to play .rm/.rmvb on linux?
2. prison break - season 2 - part 1.
3. Italian learning
4. Daily Diary
5. Read - comics - kirigi ka kahar
6. Start reading - God of small things
7. Take Bath
8. Learn 2 songs -lyrics!!
9. Jan vikalp - 1 page
10.Linux game!
11.Explore Linux!!
12.Movie-Golmaal!!
13.Siesta!
14.Physical Exercise

Probably I will add few more 'to do's' and probably I wont be able to do everything I wish to do today.I like the feeling of being busy.I have to make myself busy..Busy reading novels,learning Italian,talking on phone..Yeh,there are ways of making yourself busy even if you have been imprisoned!
This place is like prison infact worse than prison in few respects ;) .I cant move outside to breathe fresh air.I cannot meet fellow prisoners.Anyways,I dont want to bother myself by thinking about what I dont have and what I can't do.I have to keep myself happy and rocking and I know how to do that ;)
11:00 a.m. I got some more information about my health!
Doctor told me that it will take about a week time to be sure if I have contageous tuberclosis or non-contageous.Earlier this day,my blood sample was taken for the HIV,Hepatitis A,B test.I will get the result by today evening or by tomorrow morning.
Its 10 p.m. I am tuning myself to my environment.Pretty much successful in keeping myself away from the feeling of loneliness.As predicted,i could not do everything which i had scribbed in 'to do' list.Tomorrow I will get to know about Internet Connection.Still,I dont know for how long I will have to stay here.It gona be between 1 to 4 weeks.
I am feeling sleepy...
goodnight!

26th February..At around 9 a.m. I got to know that I will have to spend next 2-3 weeks of mine in hospital.May be a month.I wont be able to go to India in last week of March.Ahh. all plans got cancelled.
By 12 p.m, I was in Hospital,in an isolated room.You can enter inside only with your mask on,but I cant move outside of the room.For atleast next 2-3 days,strictly not allowed to do that.Reason-test result for tuberclosis was +ve in my case and now I will have to undergo intensive treatment.
I informed Papa,Mummy and Meenal about the case.They strengthened my determination to enjoy this treatment period inspite of getting nervous.Still I am concerned about mummy,she would be worried.Moms are like that.
It's 6 p.m.I spent last 6 hours in quasi loneliness.Got checked up by Nurses frequently.Tomorrow I will be scanned for viruses.HIV,Hepatitis -A,B..
Facilities in this hospital are superb, only concern is loneliness.Lets see how i deal with it in coming days.I have my music pill,lappy,Italian learning book and some phone cards with myself.I am curious to know how I will spend my coming days.Some phone calls from friends were like lifeline.Nainy recommended me "Tuesdays with morrie"-by Mitch Albon. Meenal made me feel better with her sweet voice.Bhabhi made me smile and Bhaiya gave me strength.
Thanks to Pavan,Yogesh,Calee,Angshuman da and Somnath for visiting me.
10 p.m. I am not feeling sleepy ..but i should sleep.

The love for writing, especially poems has something to do with hereditary in my case.Papa contributes to Dalit literature and baba,being a freedom fighter and associated with 'Arya Samaj' writes verses on 'desh prem' and society in general.

My saga for writing began at age of about 11 years when papa gave me a task of writing an essay on 'adhyayan'.He was more than happy to see a 10 page work by me.His compliments and motivation drove me thereafter.

After reading Papa's book: 'Kaaton ke bich',I realised that poems need not be beautified with alankar.All it needs is to have some content which can make long lasting impression.A poem should be capable of making a change,motivating junta,becoming a voice inspite of getting little applause for tukbandi and then getting lost in the mist of time.

To register my presence in the world of poetry, I sent my poems to Kshitij(a hindi quarterly published from US) ,Anubhuti-Hindi and started my own blog of Hindi poems : Aawaaj.
With Papa's help, my first book : 'Kshitij se aage' got published in August 2005.It was sweet surprise to get comments from Surendra Snigdh uncle and Ranjit uncle who are well known figures of Hindi literature of today.

Aawaaj is very much concerned with the plight of common man specially of those who suffers from social seclusion.Aawaaj is concerned with psychology of human being and is the mirror of the underground revolution which is going to change the social scenario of our nation.

Yesterday,i showed a video clip made by me,on the present state of Dalits in our country, to my friend.The facts datas and images in my clip shocked him.He was living with the prejudice that cesteism is no more practiced in India and social/economic status of Dalits has been improved to a pretty well position by Indian Government.
No wonder he is unaware of the ground reality.Afterall, who cares to enlighten people about the social and economic diversity which is still prevailing in our country?
Media?Times of India?Hindustan Times?The Hindu?Aaj tak? Star News?
None!!!They have no interest in this case.Rather they will like to focus on what Abhishek Bachhan will wear on his wedding day.
English men know much more about the social situation of our country than we Indians.Shame on you Indian Media!!!
Why the hell our mainstream media has kept its eyes closed?
Why the hell only 'feel good' news about our country are publicised?
Does government has no interest in preparing responsible citizens having courage to pay back to society?
I appreciate the spirit of our country because of which we made rapid economic growth in last 10-15 years but like you, I too dont want to forget about the problems which our country is facing.
Rich getting richer and poor getting poorer,will it anyway let our country run on the path of progress?
25% of population suffers from social seclusion and deprived of basic amenities,will our country ever be called prosperous?

what can be done?

Like you, I too want to think and talk about solution inspite of just highlighting the problem.Few solutions which I can think of are :

1.Sponsor education of a dalit child.An online way of doing this work :
www.dalitchild.com

2.Promote intercaste marriages to build a casteless society.

3.Promote affirmative action.If you are a recruiter, register your firm on:
http://www.firstequal.in/

4.Highlight the problem and let millions of mind think about the solution!Bombard the web world and ignite the minds with thought provoking articles.You are most welcome to join hands with me for building an alternative media.

"The purest form of love is self love"
(Not to be taken in dirty sense ;) )
God knows what has made me so self obsessed!!!I am obsessed with my look and with my ideas.I am crazy about clicking myself.
Story of panache started when a stubborn lad persuaded his dad for sony handycam.Poor daddy..I feel pity on him at times..;)..he always kept fulfilling all the demands of his pampered kid.
Truely Dad, I cant think of a single thing which I wanted and could not get from you.
so..SONY HANDYCAM DCR TRV285E..
990x digital zoom.. but alas! girls hostel was surrounded by a thick patch of trees.By..the..way there was not even a single girl in IIT Kgp for which i would have loved to use 990x facility.
P.S: Now,here in Italy,I can feel the importance of 990x digital zoom!!!:D
So..the purest form of love is self love and I started looking myself in handycam instead of using mirror.Clicking one pic after another,editing it with picasa,photoshop and then finally posting it on :

WWW.PANAACHE.BLOGSPOT.COM

In each move, each pic of mine,you can smell self-obsession.Thanks to my bro samyak and my adopted son Vishal,without whom Panaache would have been a dream for me.Thanks to Himadri for gifting me his tripod,act of self clicking became easier.Thanks to my girl friend,Meenal Jain,for not stopping me for this self-love thingy ;).I would also like to thanks all the regular viewers (if any) of Panaache for their wise comments and suggestions on my moves.

Presently I click myself with Nikon-S4.Room has been changed from C-108,R.P.Hall,IIT Kgp,India to 418,Convitto Bertoni,Udine,Italy but the act of clicking is unchanged.Self love is still alive!!!

This is wonderful!